The Night of the Cats (A Short Play)

CAST
Venerable Pippi, a dignified and resourceful black cat.
Mini Minnie, a mindless tortoishell kitten-cat
Cute Cleo, a very cute tortoishell kitten
Sqeauky Chrissy, a vocal ginger kitten

Scene:- Bottom of the bed. The human known as Anna is drifting off to sleep.

Cute Cleo: Can we play yet? Canwe?Canwe?Canwe?Canwe?
Venerable Pippi: Not yet! Wait till she's properly asleep. When you two have the benefit of my considerably years of catty experience, you'll be able to tell the right moment to spring into action. See - she's still tugging the duvet under her chin. A few more moments.
Squeaky Chrissy: Pleeeeaaaaaaaase can we play?
Venerable Pippi: *sigh* Go and play under the bed.
The Kittens bounce off.
Venerable Pippi: And choose the most rustly box!
Rustling
Mini Minnie: I have WHITE paws! Mummy says so!
Venerable Pippi: *rolling eyes* Yes, dear. *To the kittens* Pay attention! Now, see, she's asleep. You can tell by the drool. Now watch and learn. She is currently in possession of the pillow, which is where I want to sleep tonight. So what do I do?
Cute Cleo: Play! Play!
Mini Minnie: I have a POINTY MOUTH! Mummy says so!
Venerable Pippi: *with great patience* Yes, Minnie. No, Cleo. I simply insinuate my bottom - so, watch! - onto the corner of the pillow. See, immediately she shifts a little to one side.
Squeaky Chrissy: Is that when we eat her hair?
Venerable Pippi: No, keep that as a last resort. It's better if you just fart gently into her face so she - see, she's doing it! - turns over. *Smugly* Now I just curl up, push slightly and eeaaaase her off the pillow.
Squeaky Chrissy: Wow!
Cute Cleo: Cool!
Mini Minnie: MICE UNDER THE FLOOOOOORBOOOOOOOARDS!!!
Venerably Pippi: Yes, dear, of course there are.
Cute Cleo: So what do we do now?
Squeaky Chrssy: I want to eat the blanket!
Venerable Pippi: Well there are many options open to you. You could tear down the curtains, excavate the box under the dresser, continue to rustle under the bed, or, my own recommendation, you could play tag over her feet all night long.
Cute Cleo: Tag! Tag!
Squeaky Chrissy: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Venerable Pippi: Run along children.
Mini Minnie: I'm the KING OF THE CASTLE
Venerable Pippi: Except you're not a King. Despite their evil surgical interventions, you're still a Queen. And it's not a castle, is it, Minnie? It's her bottom.
Mini Minnie: Bottom! BOTTOM!
Venerable Pippi: *aside* My talents are wasted here. *To others* Excellent work Cleo, Chrissy. Chew her ankles a bit, that's it. Remember, kittens! The less sleep she has, the more likely she is to respond to basic mind-control techniques. And what is our ultimate aim?
Kittens: WORLD DOMINATION!
Venerable Pippi: *smiling warmly* Excellent.
Mini Minnie: BOTTOMS!!!