If I could be...

Michelle tagged me, so I'm going to tag Shannon Beth and Mel

Pick five, and finish them. Tag three others!

If I could be a scientist...If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter...If I could be a gardener...If I could be a missionary...If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist...If I could be a librarian...If I could be an athlete...If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an innkeeper...If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer...If I could be a backup dancer...If I could be a llama-rider...If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be a midget stripper...If I could be a proctologist...If I could be a TV-Chat Show host...If I could be an actor...If I could be a judge...If I could be a Jedi...If I could be a mob boss...If I could be a backup singer...If I could be a CEO...If I could be a movie reviewer....

If I could be an innkeeper, I'd have the kind of place where there was always food on the bar... cheese, peanuts, olives, fruit. You'd come to my pub to drink and to read and everyone would be welcome. There would be food served, but it wouldn't be a restaurant, there would be drink served, but it wouldn't be a bar, and there would be a chance to chat, but it wouldn't be a social club. If only more pubs were... pubs.

If I could be a midget stripper my knees wouldn't take such a beating.

If I could be a Jedi I'd live in seclusion on an NORMAL planet. None of this swamp or desert nonsense for me... I mean, on the one hand everything would be damp all the time, on the other hand there wouldn't be enough Olay moisturiser in the world...

If I could be a painter I'd decorate the freaking dining room NOW. (Probably wrong sort of painter. But that's what matters to ME)

If I could be a chef I would say, "I have this thing I do with low-fat food. I throw it in the bin."

If I could be a writer... wait. I AM a writer!