Hold knives carefully by the handle

Husband and I have an odd habit of verbal fencing, a kind of insulting banter that strangers find very worrying.

I constantly have to remind him that people don't know you're joking, dear... Once in the supermarket queue I was spitting at him, he was railing at me in mock outrage, and then we looked at the cashier. Who was white.

It took quite a while to persuade her that we weren't about to commit violence on each other.

One of our common rejoinders in the kitchen is "I'm holding a knife, you know!"

Today's offering was along the lines of:

"You're in the way."

"No, YOU'RE in the way."

"No. You're in the way."

"I'm holding a knife!"

"Well I'm holding a tea towel!"

"My knife is sharper!"

"Yeah, well my tea towel's damper!"

*both collapse into giggles*

I'm not sure I have anything profound to say about this - I just find it funny.

Oh, and my most treasured endearment comes from our frequent late-night exchange:

"I love you."

"I love you, too. Now bugger off."