Lessons in Love

One very important lesson that I am constantly learning and then forgetting is that there is always an emotional lesson in the book I am working on, that is an emotional lesson that I need to learn myself.

My subconcious is a tricky bastard, and almost always sows something into the internal conflicts of the protagonists that's for me to find, and educate myself with, when the book's nearly done.

When I wrote my first book, I was totally unprepared for it. Oh I knew, and was quite happy with, the fact that the heroine's "be true to yourself" mantra was something I needed to do, too. That was a nice, warm and squiggly lesson. Easy peasy.

What blindsided me was the fact that the hero's "if you're not the best, you're nothing" drive was also for me. Ouch. *embarassed cough* That one gave some sleepless nights, let me tell ya.

(I'm working on it. I try to say, "I give myself permission to fail" on a regular basis, but it usually comes out, "I give myself permission to fAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAughughughgughghhggaickckcckcc *hack* *hack*")

There was a lot that Hal (or Henry John Edwin Grays-Stratton, Lord Lowick, to give him his full title) had to tell me about myself, too, when he talked about walking a fine line between the person he was, and the person others expected of him. Again, not an uncommon lesson. Rachel's tendency to punish herself for being, well, herself, we will draw a veil over. I'm NOT admitting to that one.

In DANGEROUS LIES, it was all about Marianne. And her dreadful ineptness in social situations - completely unable to tell if someone was winding her up, laughing about her behind her back, befriending her for their own agenda. But I learned that lesson a good while ago, and although it takes a leap of faith, I trust that my friends actually WANT to be my friends. Heady stuff.

I suspect there's something I need to learn from Alan in that one, too, but I haven't found it yet. That story's due revisions. Maybe it'll pop up then.

*cracks knuckles*

And now we come to TAKEN (aka The Frenchman).

I think my subconscious has given up trying to be subtle. It's no longer about little, neat, character lessons or pains. It's transmogrified itself into the Big Theme.

Usually, in my books, the Big Theme is one word.

RUN AMONG THORNS (McWife) - Conscience
RESCUING RACHEL (Tequila) - Punishment
DANGEROUS LIES (Danglies) - Guilt

And.... *drum roll*

TAKEN (Frenchman) - Fear.

Ick.

You know what? I'm going to make this two posts. I'll come back in a day or two and let you know what I'm afraid of.

It may take some time.

Any guesses?