Saturday, June 17, 2006

If I had a hammer....

I would take it AWAY from Husband, because HE CANNOT BE TRUSTED WITH IT.


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What is it with men and demolition jobs? Picture the scene: loud crashed and bangs as Husband reduces the hapless kitchen cabinetry to sheets of broken chipboard. Watching his energy and dedication, I am moved to speak...

"Uh, darling?"
He rips a door off its hinges. "Uh-huh?" He picks up the hammer again.
"How are you going to put that door back on again?"
BANG! CRASH! "What?"
"That door. Back on again. How?"
Picks up a really big screwdriver in one hand, hefts the hammer in the other, and grins maniacally. "Why would I want to put it back on again?"
"Because that's the cupboard we were going to keep for the utility room."
"Ah." Prods at splintered casing with screwdriver. "BLAST!"*

Nine hours later, the kitchen is no more, and we've even stripped the wallpaper. For the next two weeks I'll be cooking on a camping stove and in a microwave.

Did I mention I hate microwaves?


* Ever watched Family Guy? Husband and I have taken to shouting, "Blast!" like Stewie at every suitable opportunity.

8 Comments:

At 1:49 pm, Anonymous Julie Cohen said...

Salads and barbecues.

I enjoyed that picture very much, thank you. I can fully imagine the manic action going on.

 
At 3:23 pm, Blogger Kate Walker said...

And here I was thinking that your DH had the hammer in his hand in order to nail up a blue plaque on the house wall!

Who woudl have thought that behind the mild-mannered, home-loving, cat-feeding, Zulu-watching facade there in fact lurked

Hammer Man!


I look forward to seeing the results of all this insanity very soon

 
At 4:02 pm, Blogger Sela Carsen said...

An electric skillet will expand your gourmet repetoire considerably during your time of need.

Also, don't forget a big First Aid kit. Dh dropped a tile saw on his toe a few weeks back and -- fortunately -- only broke the toenail, but not the toe. That's in addition to the blisters, cuts, scrapes, bruises and very sore muscles.

Still, I think they consider them wounds honorably won in battle. *gg*

 
At 5:20 pm, Blogger Michelle Styles said...

When my dh demolish our kithcen -- 3 weeks before Christmas, he managed to mess up his wrist. Tell hammer man to take care.

It can be very theraputic -- demolishing kitchen cabinets.

 
At 7:01 pm, Blogger Anna Lucia said...

Husband:- "Yay! Hammer Man!"

He's so easily pleased....

 
At 3:06 pm, Anonymous mary beth said...

{{{Anna}}} When it's done, it's going to be so pretty!

 
At 11:29 am, Blogger Anna Lucia said...

Thank you, thank you... Husband informs me that the kitchen was delivered this morning. The builders are here, have ripped out a whole load of plaster, and are working hard.

Holding on to the pretty thought, Mary Beth!

 
At 5:25 pm, Blogger Loreth Anne White said...

Hmmmn, looks like he had no intention of doing those dishes first, eh?

 

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